If 2021 left you constantly feeling depleted and without energy, then assess the source of the energy drain and address it early so you have a light and joyful 2022
It's that time of the year when New Year Resolutions abound. If you're committed to having more energy this year then you need to say no to these 5 things. I am providing you with alternatives of what to do instead.
As a mom, I am guilty as charged of trying to do too many things at the same time. I used to pride myself in being a master multi-talker. However I have realized that multitasking is NOT a sign of superior productivity. It's not just me, there have been several research studies that affirm that multitasking doesn't work. The main thing that multitasking takes away from you is that impedes your best thinking and lowers the quality of the work you are doing.
✔️Instead of Multitasking:
have a singular focus;
optimize your best thinking time whether that is morning or evening; complete a task before going to the next;
do some tasks when your family/children are not around - early morning or late evening.
Avoid having the TV on all day - if no one is watching then switch it off.
Get noise cancelling headphones for yourself and even for your kids so that you reduce the white noise.
If there is something that we do that is all pain and no gain, it is worrying. In every season of life there is something to worry about. Seeing peers doing "better", navigating the uncertainty in adulting, worrying about your kids' or spouses' wellbeing; worrying about your performance at work and your career progress. There is no shortage of things to worry about. The thing about worry is that it cannot add a day to your life, nor can it help you resolve the issue that you are worrying about. Most worry is fed by FEAR - fear of the outcome, fear of rejection, fear of action or inaction.
✔️In 2022, purpose to worry less and do this instead:
Pray about the circumstance that is leading to worry
Once you have prayed believe that you have received and answer
Strategize on how to resolve the issue
Proactively seek help for the situation whether the help is advice, resources
Let go and let God - trust that the God who brought you to it will bring you through it.
Our current generation is both blessed and cursed by social media. We have inspiration at our fingertips literally but we also have a window into the Jones' backyard 24-7. Call it the Pinterest-effect: we are creating unrealistic standards for ourselves by trying to emulate what we see on IG and Pinterest by folks who often have an entire team to produce just one perfect shot. The other side of perfectionism is the unrealistic standards we set for ourselves. As a mother in North America, I find that I'm under pressure to enrol my kids in a million activities, expose them to new cultures, make sure they are well rounded, while also seeking self-care and being put-together all the time. This is not only unrealistic, it is unsustainable.
✔️Instead of perfectionism do this instead:
Be in the moment, choose being present over being perfect and savour the moments
Lower your standards - especially the arbitrary standards that you have placed on yourself and your kids.
Be comfortable with imperfection
Identify your deal breakers and then slay those areas. Choose the areas you're willing to put more energy into and let go of the rest
Unfollow pages that don't promote your mental health. Better yet, take periodic breaks from social media. It will do your soul GOOD!
Doing it ALL by yourself
Yes you're a boss babe! Yes you have all the energy. You were never meant to carry the entire load by yourself. Trying to do it all alone will leave you burnt out, resentful and bitter. Trust me - this was a hard one for me to admit. Help can look like many things. It isn't always waiting for someone to offer up help. It is identifying the areas that are challenging for you and that you can outsource either by paying for it yourself OR getting voluntary help.
✔️Here are some of the things you can do instead:
Trade time for money - outsource
Get a cleaning person to alleviate your house upkeep. Depending on your budget, get someone to come in weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or every couple of months
Look into a food preparation service - whether it is complete meals, having portions of the meals prepped or choosing a night a week or every couple of weeks for take out
As a high achiever, I put ALOT of often unnecessary pressure on myself. Even if you are not trying to slay goals, there's a pressure that comes with being an adult and even a parent. That pressure can be from family members, from peers, from social media. It is more than seeking perfection in this case it is trying to offer the same things to your kids that others seem to be offering.
✔️Here's what to do instead
Be clear on your why and be clear on your who: who are you working for and why? My why is my kids and my husband and it is also my personal fulfilment. Own your path even if it is unconventional.
Minimize exposure - limit the time you spend with toxic family members; re-evaluate relationships in your life; walk away from friendships and toxic people that drain your mental health.
Surround yourself with people who build you up and who are aligned with your values
Give yourself a break - Rome was not built in one day. Pace yourself and give yourself grace
Seek therapy - understand what is behind the pressure you're placing on yourself whether it is a trauma response or from something from your childhood that you need to heal from.
Take time to review and assess the energy drains in your life and then reduce and eliminate them. Any other areas? Lets chat in the comments!